Happiness

I have found, that when life is going well, I don't stop to consider my actions as often. I am quite happy to just carry on with things as they are. I don't feel the need to change or to instigate change. It is this complacency that catches me out though. I stop having to try, and then when a challenge does come along I don't know what to do with it, I am unused to solving problems in my life and I struggle more than I should.

If I were to inspect my life when things are going easily what would I find? Is life going well because of something that I should make note of for when it is not? Is there something that I am suppressing that should be dealt with now that might cause me pain later? Well perhaps now is the time to have a look.

My life is pretty good at the moment, I have good friends, a loving family and I'm not having any trouble with my studies. I have the opportunity to play hockey twice or three times a week, and I am able to get eight to ten hours of sleep every night. I have slipped into the routine of University life fairly easily after the holidays, and my biggest worry is when/where I am going to eat my lunch.

So what is different now to the times when I feel stupid, unloved, or otherwise depressed? What am I doing that I don't do then? One thing could be that I am getting plenty of sleep, but there are times when I feel on top of my game and I have had too little sleep. There are also times when I've had plenty of sleep, and still felt absolutely awful.

Summer is coming, perhaps its that, I am enjoying the warmer weather and sunshine, but summer is not all "sunshine and daisies" to use the cliche, it has plenty of grey, rainy days. Maybe I am keeping busy, and so have no time to feel depressed, but when I have no time I do get stressed and negative.

So why am I happy? Should I be asking the question like this, or should I just accept the fact that I am happy and appreciate it without trying to take it apart as if it were wrong, and should not be allowed. If I try hard enough, I can think of many things to be depressed and negative about, but if I just do not allow myself that option, I can remain happy for that much longer.